Being someone who comes clean with his intentions, it's very difficult for me to "propose". Unlike most players, I don't want to use lies and deceit. From what I've observed and researched (by interviewing women who have had such experiences), some men play to the weaknesses of women and offer them promises of love and devotion. Some even go as far as making the woman fall for them first, then ask them to have sex as proof of their love. Others rely on liquor and taking advantage of the few moments when a woman's inhibitions are weaker or relaxed. The Art of Seduction actually stresses on "building a need", making your target want you so much that they'll be willing to do anything for you.

I've already said I don't want to hurt anyone if I could help it, hence my straightforward approach. Which is very very difficult. Women have natural defenses against "perverts" like me (I think I'm average though) and I've gotten a few negative reactions after such proposals. I don't mind rejection, but it's the judging that I don't like that much. So I've become wary of taking that first step, of making that invitation.

I was very torpe growing up, hence my becoming a late-bloomer and having little relationship experience prior to graduating from college. Those torpe characteristics really come up every time I consider asking someone, and it makes it really hard for me to make the first move. Which is good, in a way, because it limits me from damaging my reputation too much and from misbehaving. I can just imagine how bad people would think of me if I didn't have limits.

Which brings a known player that used to work in the same company as me to mind. I don't know much about him, other than he was really known as a womanizer around the office. He'd flirt with different women at work, and for some reason he doesn't get flak for it. Not as much as I did, anyway, after word of my "phase" leaked out (4 years of me being behaved thrown out the window--people only really remember the bad things don't they?).

I had a glimpse of his style and proof of his activities from conversations with 3rd, 4th and 7th. According to 3rd, who worked with him directly, he would simply ask women to have sex with them. He wasn't someone who promised love or anything, just a good time. I don't think he's handsome, he's the bad boy type actually (which a lot of women dig, apparently). 3rd admitted that the guy asked her, but she refused.

7th confirmed this guy's methods a few months ago, after we revisited our experiences. She had denied having relations with the guy when I asked her then, but this year she admitted fucking him once. According to her, he was persistent, and she thought "what the hell, let's go for it". I didn't ask about their experience, for fear of it becoming better than ours (which was good for me but being a quickie, well, I'll just say that if she gave me another chance I'll show her what I'm capable of under more realistic time constraints). 4th actually stumbled upon an email exchange between this guy and another officemate that confirmed they had sex.

I'm still quite amazed at this guy's success rate, given that our methods are similar. Oh, I have to concede the fact that he's more outgoing than I am and actually goes out with officemates to drink, so maybe the alcohol is also giving him a plus factor. I have to admit that I envy him, but only a bit--at this point in my "phase", I've realized that quality is more important than quantity. No matter how many experiences I get, if they're not nice experiences then I won't be any closer to my end goal: going straight and giving up this kind of life.

1 Said So

One of my many weird quirks is spreadsheeting of my car's gas mileage. I track every gas fill-up: the date, the mileage, and the total spent. I started keeping this data with the intention of one day figuring out the long-term value of owning a Mazda 3 versus getting a hybrid (I almost bought a Prius three years ago).

Some numbers from owning the Mazda3 for three years:

• Total miles: 16,462
• Total gas consumption: 533 gallons
• Average MPG: 30.85
• Average price per gallon: $3.02
• Total spent on gas: $1,611.58
  

If I had gotten a Prius, assuming a 46 MPG, I would have spent $1,081 on gas. That's a difference of about $600 spread over three years. With a price differential of ~$8K at purchase time (even with the $3K tax credit), I managed to save significant amounts of money by getting the Mazda3.

And as a general three year review of the Mazda3? I love the thing. Getting it in Carolina blue was a mistake; if I could go back, I'd also get the hatchback. My one complaint about the car is that the angle of the back window causes it to catch a LOT of dust - it gets dirty incredibly easy.

But besides that - it's a fun car to drive (pretty responsive), perfect size for the city, well sized for passengers, low maintenance (no problems thus far), and has managed to be able to transfer almost all the furniture I've bought without a problem! (This streak was unfortunately broken today when I mistakenly assumed the Benchwright Coffee Table from Pottery Barn came in pieces - it comes in one big piece).

(And now I finally have a coffee table!)

Anything?

... but I find interesting. I've been watching the AGU-CF-TRA love triangle and things are starting to heat up.

AGU, which is trying to take over CF, seems to be gaining success with their bid, with 62% of shares voting for the takeover. Meanwhile, yesterday, CF got three of its nominees to the TRA board (ousting the chairman) - a pretty good indication of what TRA shareholders want.

So TRA shareholders want to be bought out by CF (while the TRA board of directors does not), while CF shareholders want to be bought out by AGU (while the CF board of directors does not).

Interesting. (I pretty much exited my long position from before, leaving just a small amount in place to catch any additional upside - I'll initiative a long in another one of the players next week)

Anything?

Sa isang di maipaliwanag na kadahilanan, hindi ako makatulog. Medyo, mahaba-haba pa naman ang gabi, kaya magbolahan muna tayo ng konti. Ise-share ko sa inyo ang isang kuwento para sa mga taong “futuristic” kung mag-isip. Hindi ko tinutukoy ang mga matatalinong pilosopo, mga dakilang siyentipiko, mga malikhaing imbentor, o kahit yung si Temyong na may sayad duon sa may kanto namin na nag-aangking siya ang may akda ng Noli Me Tangere at El Filibusterismo. Well, sabog lang yun.

O sige uumpisahan ko na ang kwento. Tungkol ito sa tatlong lalaki na naghihintay sa may bus stop. Magkakatabi silang nakaupo sa isang bench. Bigyan natin ng pangalan ang mga tauhan sa kwento.  Una ay si Domeng, nasa mga edad 40. Pangalawa ay si Badong na mga nasa edad 20. At ang pangatlo ay si Julius, 26.

Habang naghihintay ng bus, ang bawa’t isa ay may kani-kaniyang pinagkakaabalahan. Si Domeng ay nagbabasa ng “Philippine Daily Inquirer”. Si Badong naman ay nag-aabang ng magagandang chicks na dumadaan habang naglalaro ng games sa cellphone, para nga naman hindi halata ang kanyang kamanyakan. At si Julius naman ay nagmamasid at pinag-aaralan ang kilos ng dalawang lalaki, at baka sakali ay may maisulat siya sa kaniyang mahiwagang blog.

Napansin ni Domeng si Badong sa kaniyang ginagawang pagnanasa sa mga chicks na naglalakad sa harap nilang tatlo. At sa bawat babae na dumadaan, nagbibigay ng kumento si Badong ng pabulong. Napapailing na lang si Domeng. Pagkalipas ng ilang minuto, naki-usyoso naman si Badong sa binabasang diyaryo ni Domeng. Kaso mukhang hindi naman na-gets ni Badong ang binabasa ni Domeng kaya ibinalik na lang niya ang kanyang tingin sa mga chicks na dumadaan.

Medyo matagal dumating ang bus. Hindi na mapakali si Badong, sabay kuha ng kanyang cellphone, nag-text, at napasigaw ng, “Nakam@#$%^&hhh naman o! ” Pagkatapos ay tinapik niya si Domeng at nag-request ng ganito, “Kuya, kuya, kuya! Pwede po ba maki-text? Naubusan po kasi ako ng load eh! Important lang poh kuya!” Dedma lang ‘tong si Domeng. At dahil tablado si Badong, si Julius naman ang pinagdiskitahan niya. Ganito naman ang naging pag-uusap nila.

Badong: Pre! Pwede magtanong? ‘nung oras na?

Julius: Five minutes before 3 PM.

*Napatingin si badong sa sahig at nag-isip ng malalim, sabay humirit ng ganito…*

Badong: Pre, baka naman pwede ko maki-text? Importante lang talaga.

Julius: Ay sorry pre, empty na ako eh.

*Nagsalubong na ang kilay ni Badong sabay lumayas dahil tablado siya sa kanilang dalawa ni Domeng*

Nang makalayo na si Badong, biglang natawa si Domeng at kinausap si Julius.

Domeng: Hahaha! Buti nga sa kanya! Tama ang ginawa mo.

Julius: Bakit naman po?

Domeng: Alam mo ba kung bakit di ko siya pinahiram ng cellphone?

Julius: Ah, oo nga po eh, mukhang snatcher ang isang yun.

Domeng: Hindi naman sa ganon. May iba pang dahilan.

Julius: Eh ano naman po iyon?

Domeng: Ganito, makinig kang mabuti. Kung pinahiram ko siya ng cellphone, pwedeng pagkatapos nun eh magkausap kami ng matagal at maging magkaibigan kami. ‘Pag naging magkaibigan kami, pupunta yun sa bahay namin. ‘Pag nagpunta siya sa bahay namin, makikilala niya ang anak kong babae. ‘Pag nakilala niya ang anak kong babae, magiging magkaibigan sila. ‘Pag naging magkaibigan sila, magkakatuluyan sila. ‘Pag nagkatuluyan sila, magiging mag-asawa sila. ‘Pag naging mag-asawa sila, eh kawawa naman ang anak ko! Pambili nga ng load wala siya! Eh, ano pa ang ipapakain niya sa magiging pamilya nila?

*Napatahimik na lang si Julius at sumang-ayon na lang*

Dugtong pa ni Domeng, “ At ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na mukha siyang snatcher! Kaya bakit ko siya ie-entertain?”

May point nga naman si Domeng.

1 Said So

A kiss.

Him : You've just given me a memory that will last a lifetime.
Her : C'mon, don't tell me that. It's just a kiss. It's nothing serious.
Him : I know. But serious or not, it was an exhilarating kiss. And what is life but a collection of those breaktaking memories.

Dark night.
The city glows.
The shutter clicked.

The city sleeps now. Peacefully. Beneath.

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Taken at the Parc Royale Helipad in Ortigas

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26 Said So

One thing I've learned through my previous experiences is that if you decide to engage in infidelities, then you need to set some communication rules with your partner(s). Being that these activities aren't really legal, openly communicating about them can cause trouble for both parties involved, especially when the person you're in a legal relationship with is constantly checking up on you. Which is the reason why I set certain rules for communcation. I don't want to go into details because "a magician never reveals his secrets" (but really, I don't want to make anyone a better "player" of the "game") so I'll just talk about general concepts.

The most important guideline and I think the first rule that needs to be established is there needs to be a way of determining if (1) you've reached the right person and (2) if it's a good time to talk about what you need to talk about (3) without revealing too much if it turns out that you're not talking to the right person.  All three conditions  need to be met before both parties can start talking about what they want to talk about.

The second guideline is both parties need to establish alternatives for "unsafe words" just in case someone happens to gain access to the conversation. This is to avoid having to blatantly state anything, and one can't ever be certain that the lines of communication (text messages, emails, chat conversations) will always be secure. It's easier to persuade someone to dismiss suspicious behavior than it is to convince them not to mind any hard evidence.

The third guideline is establishing a quick and efficient "out", something that will inform both parties that the communication has/will end or has already ended. This will prevent one side from sending any unwanted communication signals because they had no clue that it's not a good time to continue the conversation.

Now that I'm reading this, I think it's still too specific, I'm sure it's going to give others some good ideas. Oh well, I don't want to simply delete this. I'd like to hear other viewpoints about this topic, so I'll have to trust that anyone wishing to use these as a guide knows that they're responsible for their own actions.

5 Said So

Here's some coverage on MindTouch Cloud:

• MindTouch Joins Google, Zoho in Collaboration Cloud
• MindTouch Cloud: The Open Source Alternative to Sharepoint and Salesforce.com?
• Sharepoint Watch Out - Mindtouch Goes SaaS 
• MindTouch launches its open source cloud

Good stuff. I can't believe it's Thanksgiving next weekend! Time flies...

Anything?

The idiom "what you don't know won't hurt you" applies to acts done without one's knowledge that may be directly harmful to that specific person or not. And from personal experience and observation, I can attest to this idiom's truthfulness. When I was completely unaware that people I was working with were talking behind my back, I felt nothing. But when I found out what they did, I felt hurt. I would have never felt anything had I remained oblivious to the situation. In several aspects, this idiom is very similar to the popular saying "ignorance is bliss", the main difference is that saying "what you don't know won't hurt you" is specifically talking about any potentially hurtful act done against you.

This fact of life is one of the reasons why people are able to do hurtful things to those whom they love or care about. Now, the degrees or level of pain that different acts can cause varies depending on the act and people involved, but the basic idea remains the same. Everyone (and I dare anyone who can claim that he/she has not done anything consciously to hurt their partners/friends/families to speak up) does hurtful things to our loved ones at one point in our lives or another because we know that they will not get hurt if they never find out about what we did. It can be as minor as a white lie about not going to a party because "you're not feeling well" when in fact you don't like the person who invited you, or can be as bad as sleeping around behind your partner's back. It can involve lying to your parents, telling them that you'll spend the night over at a friends house to finish a project but in reality you're just out partying. It can be lying to your son or daughter about not being able to purchase a copy of their favorite magazine because the magazine stand "ran out of stock", but in reality you just didn't want to bother going out of your way just for a silly magazine.

So when you find yourself talking to a person who's supposed to be caring for you and loving you, and they claim that they "never meant to hurt you", they could be telling the truth. I'm sure they never meant for you to find out what they did, because "what you don't know can't hurt you".

8 Said So