Dear,

Like kita kasi friend kita. Kasi adventurous ka. At kasi gusto pa kita makilala ng husto. Kasi bibihira lang ako magkaroon ng adventurous na friend. As in sporty type. Karamihan na sa mga kabataan ngayun mahilig maglaro sa computer shops. At least ikaw, nakatalon kana sa cliff at nakapag-dive sa karagatan.

Pero inignore mo nanaman ang hello ko. Hindi tuloy ako sure kung gusto ko pa ituloy ang friday kasama ka. Gusto ko, kasi naman manunuod tayu ng 2012. Gusto ko, para makasama ka, at makapag-usap tayu. Wala lang. Baka machempuhan ko rin iintroduce sayu ng bonggang bongga ang business ko. Ten is to one ratio naman e. Sampung invites, isang agila. Ikaw ang isa sa mga siyam na tatanggi. Okay lang. It's close to getting the one.

Kaso, natatakot na akong harapin ka. Wala naman akong thing sayo. Pero parang ganun ang tingin mo, kaya ganyan ang trato mo. Grabe. Binabawian mo ba ako? Kung anong ginawa ko sayo dati? Wala naman ganyanan. Sinusubukan ko naman kasi magbago e.

Okay. Bakit ako natakot magpakita sayo?

Kasi andun ka e. Sa sitwasyon na yan. Mataas ang level ng estado mo sa buhay. Alam kong humble ka, kung ikukumpara sa mga chinito mong kasama sa team. Halata naman e. Pero... ayun nga. Ang hirap. Natatakot ako. Kasi ako nagpapanggap lang naman ako. Kahit siguro yun kinikita ko e pantay lang sa meron kayo, hindi ko kaya yun estado niyo. Gusto ko yun simple lang ako, ordinaryo. Hindi katulad ng mga usual friends mo na natatagpuan mong nagsusuot ng short shorts, and fit clothes, at maputi and ALL THAT. Hindi ako ganun. Natakot ako. Kahit alam kong hindi mo ako ikukumpara sa kanila. Okay fine. Na-insecure siguro ako... Kaya ganun.

Ang hirap harapin yun taong nakilala ka before nitong lahat lahat. Yun mga taong nakilala ka habang nasa puberty stages ka pa, ay yun mga taong talagang mas nakakakilala sayo kesa sa mga taong tinuturing mong bestfriends ngayon sa college. Yun kasi talaga yun mga taong nakita ka sa stage na nag-uumpisa ka pa lang maging kung sino ka ngayun... kaya walang takas sa lahat ng flaunts, fails, firsts, and posers.

Ewan.

Pwede bang i-cancel na lang natin yun date natin sa friday? Pakiramdam ko gusto ko na magmove on mula sayo. Sa pag trato mo pa lang sa akin, alam kong busted na ako.

Waha!

Parang lalake lang a.

//

Grabe gusto ko mainlab. Pero hindi naman kasi ako perpektong gurlalooo. Ampot. Ang hirap magpakatotoo. Minsan talaga, tinatamad na lang ako magtanong para malaman ang iba pang mga detalye ng buhay niya. Kasi parati na lang siya. Sana ako rin tinatanong niya dba. Pero wala e. Ganun talaga.

Eto na lang si isa, baka sakaling pwede akong magpakwento sa kanya bukas. Babatiin ko na lang siya ng malaking ngiti.

//

I need to meet at least two new people per day.

1 Said So

Mildly colorblind in the green and yellow spectrum.

And so was the explanation of Dr. Vigo on my test results on colorblindness.

We were goofing around in the Surgery Office when Dr. Matic asked us to scoot to the Eye Center for a study being done by his wife. It was fun arranging the colors into the spectrum, but it was admittedly difficult. The pegs had a certain order of shading, and it seemed that some pegs were of the same color. The pink and violet hues were a breeze, but the yellow and green pegs were sort of hard to arrange (for me). Damn it.

Some people say that only men are affected by colorblindness. That is partly correct, for the congenital type. There is also a acquired type, which includes medication, poor diet and smoking. I guess this is where I come in. I'm just happy that I can identify green from grey, even if I'm slightly impaired in distinguishing tints (which I didn't know before). I was slightly depressed afterwards saying I was ready to devour a plate of yellow and orange vegetables to salvage my remaining photoreceptors.

I remember a good friend, she would say that a dress was wonderfully blue when it was violet. I don't know if she's just confused or can't see the color right. One of our junior interns is also suspect to the condition, since he is having difficulty in identifying hyperemia (something red and swollen) from one that is not.

Impaired. That is something that we can be, without even knowing it.

In extreme colorblindness, one can only see the blue and orange shades. No green, no red. A colorblind man can't identify a woman with lipstick. Or a ripe banana from an unripe one. It may seem funny, or ridiculous. The sad part is some find it later in life, and is unsuitable to aviation, or jobs that requires color discrimination.

But being colorblind is the least of my worries.  I was just thinking, what if some people's emotions were the same? That in the spectra of anger, love, joy and sadness, they can only feel two extremes? Able to love without anger or experience joy without love?

7 Said So

Masakit pag sinasabi ang katotohanan sa taong importante sayo.

Pero kailangan e.

Hindi para mag-crack... or mag break down and cry.

Kundi para ma-stretch.

//

2 Said So

movies. movies. movies.

andami kong pinanood nitong self-proclaimed vacation ko haha~ so what? orientation pa lang naman tuwing first week kaya nag-exile muna ko sa probinsya (except lang sa corpo at mukang excited agad si sir magpa-kaso. ugh!) kaya nagpakasasa nako sa mga dvds ni ate.

eto mga pinanood ko:

DisFigured

100 girls

Jane Eyre

Wuthering Heights

Tropic Thunder

Horton hears a Who

88 minutes

21

Taken

What Happens in Vegas

The Poet

Baby on Board

Accidental Husband

Wild Child

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

The Other Man

Eagle Eye

Chop Shop

pati pala August Rush

Di ko na maalala yung iba. Haaaayyy...I wish I have more time to watch movies all day long!!!

Kaso back to the real world na. Balik sa dorm. Balik sa pagiging recluse. Estate tax recit bukas. ugh. boringness!!!

Anu ba, anu ba, anu ba.

Anu bang magndang gawin sa buhay ko.

Yan na naman. Iniimagine ko na isang araw, i'll pack my bags and just GO! wherever the yellow brick road takes me! to finally have a sense of adventure!

Pano naman kaya yun? aber?

13 Said So

And there he goes to the comfort room AGAIN.

My brother has been vomiting and having diarrhea all day. And all day, I have been calm, composed and doctor-like... although deep inside I am this close to bringing him to the hospital. Of course I'm doing this with maximum tolerance. After all, he is 17, not at risk of dehydration, and able to tolerate intake. It would be a embarassment on my part to bring him there, only to be sent home.

I assured him that the stomach discomfort is something he has to deal with, and will eventually wear off. To make the best of the situation, it was my time to scold him about his poor eating habits (junkfood, coke, skipping breakfast, eating out) I already gave him a combo of Esomeprazole, Ranitidine earlier this morning, and Domperidone when he still wasn't relieved in the afternoon. I know...I am failing my Internal Medicine, and Family Med teachers right now. I'm just extra aggressive when it comes to family. I want them to feel fine right away, or I'll be bothered that I'm not doing things correctly. I am also sticking to the traditional, we made him a cup of tea, and some hot soup. On the crazier part of my mind, I am on the verge of putting efficascent/white flower/vicks with a cross sign over the stomach...good thing, we just dont have it at home at the moment.

When I first took up medicine, I imagined myself, fast forward to the future, being at the bedside of my relatives, or having their children drop by at my clinic, or knocking at my door when they were sick. They also think the same, even saying ' walang bayad kapag nagpatingin kami ha', when I was starting out. Of course I will do my best to look use my knowledge to look after them. I just never expected that when it comes to loved ones, the pressure to perform well is much greater.

My parents especially. They are both in the healthcare field, and I have never been confined, EVER in my entire life.  The younger me had such a low tolerance for malaise, and will stay in bed even if it was just a nasty cold. When I went to the province two summers ago, some of my relatives were asking me to look into their aches and discomforts. My mom answering for me. And so I smile and agree, and feel my brain shrink. Like my confidence.

But that was before clerkship and internship. Medical students know nothing but theories until they step into hell, oops, into the hospital. And only then will they find out who is sick with what. And what sallow skin, pale palpebra, or rhonchi are. I hope that through the daily routine and madness, I am becoming better at what I am trying to become.

As I type, he reports to me that he has nothing more to barf. Darn it. I ask if he is feeling better...he just slumps on the sofa, and procedes to watch tv.

Ok, just two more bouts and we're off.

2 Said So

"ONE CHANCE, ONE LIFE. No rewind, no fastforward. TODAY IS THE ONLY LIFE WE HAVE. Tanong: for the remaining time that you will be spending here on this planet, anong gusto mo? Would you like to like to spend the rest of your life working for money... or DO YOU WANT MONEY TO EVENTUALLY WORK FOR YOU?" - GFI's Vice President Bong Escubido

Ibahin natin ang perspective natin para sa ikauunlad ng bansa. Contact me to get updated with schedule of trainings with our mentors and vice president. 09151881877

Sinasabi ko sa inyo. Our generation, if we have the right people to push us, will change the perspective of this nation, and eventually help the development of our country. Matter of perspective lang naman talaga e.

Eto na lang ang tanong: Hanggang jan ka na lang ba?

Tulong-tulong tayo.

//

PS: Congratulations kay Pacquiao! Lupet. Kasama na ang pangalan niya sa history ng boxing. Hello Philippines. Hello World. :D

Anything?

If you've been reading my posts in the past, you're probably aware by now that I don't celebrate Christmas though I celebrate JC's birth everyday by trying my best to live life the way I'm supposed to live it.

Anyways, this isn't a religious post.

I am actually thinking of the things (yes, that's material things) that I can go without but seems nice to have. Yes, I'm pretty contented with what I have right now but then I see nothing wrong with daydreaming LOL! And so I was mentally creating a wish lust (list) in my mind of the stuff that I would love to have on New Year's Day. Oh you know how great it is to receive gifts (though I'm fond of giving too) on a New Year -- new year, new things But then, I can't really expect everybody to give me those things I like not only because they're expensive but also because others may want to give me something else and I should respect and be appreciative of their choices.

And so I decided to write down the things that I would like to have -- either I get it as gifts from others or I buy them myself. Nah, I wouldn't include my dreamhouse or the car I would love to drive someday. Those are too big for me. I'll try my best to be as close to reality as I can. I mean, there are things that I have wanted to have so much in the past but it's either I can't afford it or I can but would rather spend the money on something more useful or practical or on something that will make my life or my family's life convenient.

But then, I'm almost 30 (Yes, I'm not embarrassed of my age). Why not start working hard for my wants? I have been working towards survival. I was able to sustain my needs in the past. I think I'll just have to work harder and I'll get what I want. 2010 seems like a good year... I have one whole year to get what I want... Ok, so here goes my list (not in particular order, just what comes in my mind)...

1. Green Sony Vaio Laptop

• Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo T5500 - 1.66GHz (x2), 667MHz FSB, 4MB L2 Cache
• RAM: 1024MB DDR2-533MHz
• Hard Drive: 100GB SATA 5400rpm
• Screen: 13.3" Widescreen TFT (1280x800 - 16:10)with X-Black Technology
• Optical Drive: DVD±RW Super Multi Double Layer
• Graphics: Integrated Graphics supporting 128MB
• Wireless LAN: 802.11a/b/g
• Weight: 2.3kg
• Operating System: Windows XP Media Center Edition
• Plus: Firewire Portand Flash Memory Card Reader (MS, MS-pro, MS-Duo)

2. Apple iPhone 3G

• The fastest iPhone ever
• Shoot, edit and share videos
• 3 MegaPixel Camera 
• Voice Control 
• Compass 
• Cut, Copy and Paste 
• Landscape Keyboard
  
• Messages 
• and many more!
  

3. Favorite Authors' Collection

• Jeffrey Archer
• Barbara Taylor Bradford
• Judith McNaught
• Sidney Sheldon
• Stephen King
• Robert Ludlum
• Dan Brown
• John Grisham
• Danielle Steel
• and many more!
  

4. Emerald Jewelry ... ahhh stunningly beautiful! Go Green!

5. Bvlgari Green Mother-of-Pearl Leather Women's Watch (sigh... I know, very expensive)

6. Bvlgari Sunglasses (ohh-la-la)

7. Fragrances for Women by Jean Patou

8. Victoria's Secret

• Lingerie
• Clothing
• Accessories
• Bags
  
• Shoes
• Swimming Attire
• Beauty Essentials
  

9. Manicure, Pedicure, Spa, Facial and Salon Package (pamper me.... LOL!)

10. Engagement Ring (hmmm... I can forget wishes 1-9 as long as I have this. Boy! I don't even mind a plastic ring as long as I'm engaged! Hahaha!) Save the best for last huh!

Oh well I had fun thinking and writing about my material wish list (or lust, whatever! LOL!). I don't know if I'll be able to get my wants for 2010. I repeat, I can live without these things but well, they're definitely nice to have! I am really contented with the material and non-material blessings that I am getting right now and I am more concerned with the non-material too -- e.g. good health for me, my little baby and my Mahal, fun learning experiences for my little angel, eternal love and passion between me and my Mahal, a harmonious relationship between me and my loveones, a strong Christian value, among other things.

But then again... If I can have it all, why not?

Music :: Sweet Child of Mine
Mood :: content

Anything?

Hmmm... sounds like fun. I wonder if the management will allow me to go. I'm so interested with this, I do hope they would pay for my registration fee (if any), LOL! I mean, I hope they will support this activity and see it as an advantage if they would send me to the conference.

DEVCON events are gatherings designed to facilitate interaction among the software and web development professionals...

That's cool! The event will happen on December 03, 2009, (venue details to follow) an opportunity for me to interact with other programming enthusiasts (both professionals and students alike) in Mindanao! But I am more interested in the learning that I could get out of the activity -- the talks, the discussions, the debates, the hands-on coding, gosh! It would be fun!

So maybe you wanna register as well. Just visit their Registration page and fill-up the online registration form. See ya there!

Mood :: curious

Anything?